Colors That You've Shined
by magenwashere
Summary: Alec dreams the night before the battle. He thinks, he realizes, and he plans. Because he wants Magnus to know he loves him. Slash.


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**AN: Please, please, please let this be as amazing as it was when I was daydreaming in Spanish. Please. **

Colors raced across his dreams. Vibrant, bright and sparkling. They flew around him in waves, flowing. It was calm, in a way, the colors almost warm. He couldn't see anything clearly, it was like he was looking through colored glass. It seemed he was alone in this world, this dream world, where no would could touch him. And then Magnus stepped out of a purple shadow.

_It figures,_ Alec thought, _he's even colorful in my dreams._

Dream Magnus smiled, warm and inviting, and held out his hand. Alec could see it clearly, right in front of him. It was right there!He wanted to reach for it, wanted to grab it and hold it tightly. But his hand would not move, no matter how hard he tried. Dream Magnus eventually dropped his hand, and stopped smiling. The look on this Magnus' face was so heartbroken, so hopeless, that Alec wanted to shut his eyes to block it out, but he couldn't. All he could do is stand and watch. Dream Magnus sighed heavily, before turning away, head down, shoulder's hunched. So very un-Magnus like. And it was Alec's fault...he'd hurt the one person who he'd never thought he could. He'd failed. The colors swirled and swirled and swirled, closing in around him, smothering him...

Gasping, he jolted upward out of his a little, he wiped a hand over his face and got out of bed. Walking over to the window, he stared out at Idris, stars glowing brightly over a dark land.

Was the dream a test? Something sent to him from the heavens to show him his faults? Alec didn't ned a dream to tell him his shortcomings. Before everything (before Magnus) he'd known his place, or at least he thought he did. He was the careful one, the one who was patient, the one who did logically and precisely. Carefulness was always necessary. _Don't do anything risky,_ he'd think, _you've got to take care of Jace, watch his back. You've got to take care of Isabelle, make sure she's not run off somewhere. You've got to take care of Max while your parents are gone**. You've **got to take care of **everyone **that's your job. Do it._

But it had been his job for so long, he'd forgotten how to let go and have fun.

But then there was Clary, crashing into their lives and changing everything and everyone. With her, she'd brought so many new people and things. So much newness, it...scared Alec. Surely that much change couldn't be good? So he'd decided to not like her, and that feeling had only intensified after he'd seen the way Jace looked at her. Because he was 'in love' with Jace. At least he'd thought so at the time, and because of that he'd refused to be friends with a genuinely nice girl. (Because even though she'd wrecked Jace's feelings, and they'd both had lots of drama, she'd become part of his family. And he protected his family.)

He loved her. Not just because he was his best friend/brother's girlfriend. Not even because she was his friend, his sister. Not becasue she made Jace happy, and when Jace was truly happy, everyone was. (Jace's dark moods seemed to effect everyone, even the cat.) None of these reasons were the reason Alec really loved Clary.

Alec loved Clary because by coming into his life, she'd brought him to Magnus, and Magnus was the most important, most loved person in Alec's life. But if he loved Magnus so much, why did he not take his hand in the dream? It was a dream, but still. He hoped Magnus knew how much he loved him-

"How would he know that? I've never told him." he said it out loud. "He must-" Hate me. But he didn't say that out loud. Couldn't.

_I'll make sure he knows. Somehow, I'll make sure._

"Would you be my partner?" Alec asked quietly. "Please?" Something flickered in Magnus' eyes that made Alec think he'd said something wrong, but then it was gone and Magnus was stretching out his arm.

"Of course, Shadowhunter." Alec flinched a little, causing Magnus to quirk an eyebrow in what looked to be a very sophisticated confused look.

"Magnus, I-" Magnus cut him off.

"You probably shouldn't talk to me. Your parents are right over there." He nodded in their direction.

"I don't care." Magnus didn't say anything. "I _don't. _I'm not going to pretend like I don't know you, Magnus. I lo-"

"Don't say it if you don't mean it. Please." Magnus looked so vulnerable. So un-Magnus.

"I do!"

"No, Alec honey, you don't. Not really."

"Yes I do! How do you know what I feel? I've never told you!" Alec said exasperatedly.

Magnus closed his eyes and rubbed a hand over his face, looking tired. "Exactly, Alec. Exactly. You've never told me how you feel, and you haven't told anyone else either. So forgive me if I don't believe you."

A idea struck Alec like a baseball bat hitting a baseball. "So, you're saying if I did those things you'd believe me?"

"Of course, but you're never going to do anyth-mmph!"

In front of his parents, his friends, random Downworlders, and most of the Shadowhunter population, Alec kissed Magnus full on the mouth.

This kiss was different from all the other ones they'd shared. The other ones had been just as good, just as amazing, but they'd all been private kisses. Kisses that almost felt likedirty little secrets. This one definitely not. (And Alec liked that a lot. Maybe more than he should.)

When Alec broke away, finally, Magnus' chest was heaving and his lips were swollen. (Alec's were too.)

Alec cupped Magnus' cheeks in both hands and gave him a quick, soft kiss.

"I love you."

Magnus smiled hugely.

"I love you too."


End file.
